Awful CV buzzwords

LinkedIn has kindly rounded up the 10 most overused profile buzzwords in the USA

I’m sure people don’t really want to use these words and phrases, but lots of people end up doing so. This is partly because recruiters put these awful phrases in person specifications so you feel the need to respond in kind, but also it’s a herd mentality. “If all my competitors claim they are results-oriented, will I lose if I don’t claim it too?”

If you work or aspire to work in the kind of industry where LinkedIn profiles might help, who isn’t going to claim implicitly or explicitly that they are innovative, motivated, results-oriented, dynamic, a fast-paced team-playing problem solver? Are there any industries calling for hide-bound, lazy, aimless, static, loners?

“Extensive experience” and “proven track record” at least say something concrete about you – that you have been working in/on/at x for some time.

How do you avoid these awful words? I’ve adopted a “show, don’t tell” approach on the latest version of my cv, so I don’t use empty adjectives about myself (no doubt someone will spot one now).

I haven’t gotten rid of all the awful business-speak words yet though. I keep using the word “undertook” or “undertake” – who says that in real life?

10 reasons numbered list articles suck

1. The writing is more likely to be derivative and contrived.
2. The thinking behind the writing is more likely to be derivative and contrived.
3. It implies that the reader does not have to analyse their predicament – just do these tips and your sorted!
4. Blatant linkbait.
5. They reinforce our ever-decreasing attention span.
6. To artificially inflate the number of items in the list, some points may merely be a rehash of others.
7. Some points may merely be a rehash of others in order to artificially inflate the number of items in the list.
8. The likelihood that the number of pertinent points relevant to the topic is a nice round number is small.
9. There is always at least one ridiculous item with no bearing on the topic – probably to get to the nice round number.
10. Potatoes.

This idea was stolen from Nancy Bartlett. Sorry Nancy!

My ideal life based on my favourite writers

My choice of favourite authors reflects my interests (duh), mainly science and politics. But they each appeal for different reasons. Some writers I would aspire to write like, and some I just want to steal bits of the fictional worlds they create and live them.

I want to be friends with Howard Roark, rogue architect of Ayn Rand’s creation.

I want to write like George Orwell, with clarity and brevity, and have the courage to defend unfashionable political views (but I don’t want to be a socialist).

I want to think like Asimov and Arthur C Clarke – wild ideas that make you gasp.

I want to write novels like Steven Baxter – wild ideas that make you gasp but with a bit more novelistic oomph than Messrs Asimov and Clarke.

I want to live a life and in a world as described by Kim Stanley Robinson – probably some kind of peripatetic scientist in the mix of great events but still taking time out to appreciate the wild and the rocks and the sky.

Business writing can be good writing too

I came across this dire paragraph at work recently:

The policy requires that we deliver sustainable solutions across our activities by evolving our multidisciplinary approach, developing our technical expertise and building on our track record of delivery.

What… the… Hell… does that mean?  It’s supposed to explain how “sustainability” is to be addressed by the designers (we are an engineering consultancy), but it tells you nothing about the concept of sustainability or any concrete information about what it would entail in practice.

In contrast to that, last week I noticed a memo on a colleague’s desk entitled “Sustainability as sartorial style”.  This compared the whole building design process to choosing an outfit.  The underwear is the ground engineering, the fabric is the structure, the architecture is the flamboyant shirt.  The sustainability of the design, however, is NOT the accessories, the cufflinks and watch; it is the style, the overall look.  This is a way of saying that you can’t do the whole design (put all the clothes on) and then add sustainability at the end – it has to be a conscious part of the decision making from the start, and will affect all the choices you make.  It was simple, understandable, and memorable.  I can’t think of a better description of good writing than that.